1. |
Backrooms
04:46
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We've come a long way
From where we were
Roaming in the hallways
Of the empty church
Waiting for mom
To punch the clock
The softness of the carpets
Beneath our socks
Under the stairwell
Our little faces lit up in the electric glare
Of the Oregon Trail
Heaven or hell
Choose your own adventure
Are we still there
Shooting the buffaloes dead
I was driving ninety
Out to your house
Cause you were drunk and starving
You said you wanted out
Picking at your fingers
Looked like you'd seen a ghost
Hanging sheets and blankets
A stranger in your home
Under a blue veil
Our little synapses firing
Postictal shell
Of your former self
Heaven or hell
We never left the backrooms
Are we still there
Shooting the buffaloes dead
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2. |
Clementines
03:48
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3. |
Grace
04:17
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4. |
Angel Song
04:03
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Our small procession laid your little body down
Upon the tailgate
Bowing by the weight that you were hauling around
Oh what the words weighed
And I've been terrified
To try to tie a line
To any memory of the times
We fought the spinning inside our sewn together minds
I called you Angel in the breech
Of any guardian watching me
Into the fugue and through the drinks
My kidneys in the kitchen sink
You never said a word to no one
My constitution's probably gonna let you down
I'll make the big change
And take another swing living above ground
I'll set a new stage
And I've been riding on
That final morphine high
Since we went sailing through that night
Whispering "Thank you, baby,
No more pain now. It's alright"
I called you Angel and took you home
Subjected you to rock and roll
We barked at our immortal souls
And forced down both our separate bowls
And you never said a word
Though you always seemed so sure
Of something
Hey, don't you let it get you down
You'll be missing how this all shakes out
You're running with the big dogs now
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5. |
Turning Against The Self
04:36
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I was drowning myself inside a crystal coffin
Filled with rotgut and my white-boy tears
I felt bat-shit crazed whenever out of my haze
And I lived like that for seventeen years
I got the IV flowing to my bloodstream
Glowing in the magic of my newfound love
And we were fighting a war inside that suburban horror
Like those draftee docs in Korea
And I was reading Bukowski like the King James Bible
Thinking "This is who I wanna become."
And I was shipping the daylight on an Ambien rail line
In an effort to erase what I was
And we drank to forget and then we drank to forgive
And the practice made us perfect enough
But when I closed my eyes and it was bedlam inside
We always ended up awash in the flood
How have you been coping with everything
I heard you cut your hair real short
I don't blame you for anything
I hope you're doing well
It was the turning against the self
When he was holding me down and really letting it out
Screaming some two-thousand year old verse
Regarding "Honor Thy Father", drove the wedge even further
I was getting some of what I deserved
And it would cut me the deepest, man, when we would go at it
And you'd tell me I was acting like him
I didn't wanna believe it, so I'd fuck up your being
And then I'd promise not to do it again
And again
Remember the time that we flew out to Las Vegas
With a baggie of some mystery drugs
And we spent the whole time just tripping out of the window
Sorted some of what was eating us up
But then when we got back home and drove in different directions
We both started feeling scary alone
And from the darkest of origins, little joys that we foraged
Left us weeping by the sides of the road
I still feel your hurting, like everything
Time can't heal all these wounds
I see you in my dreams, I'm learning I kept you in a cell
But now you're doing it by yourself
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6. |
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When I sit down
I try to taper the rule and try to write it all out
This radio town
Has been rubbing us raw
Are we settling now
Bite the cord and spit
We've got to let it in
It's "Us" and "We" and "Them"
Don't let the bastards win
Think I'm coming down
With a ten-dollar fever
And a case of the clouts
But if you stick around
There's a waterfall waiting
At the end of the route
Bite the cord and spit
We've got to let it in
It's "Us" and "We" and "Them"
Don't let the bastards win
We've been feeling our favor
Living the goddamned dream
And still, we stare at the fire
Like it's a movie screen
Well would you look at us now
Crying like babies as we figure us out
We've got boots on the ground
In this war of redemption and crippling doubt
Rite the col to end
The people we have been
It's "Us" and "We" and "Them"
Don't let the bastards win
Don't let the bastards win.
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7. |
Angie
06:41
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Angie, you wrote me
To thank me for playing your party
You were raising some money
To bring the woods to the kids in the city
To bring some good to the poor and the needy
I carried it with me
Started trying to be be kind to my memory
To distinguish the shadows that held me
You told me I was special
Man, that really stuck
Put my heart to the paddles
Tried to give it a jump
And the boarded up sub-basement rooms started stirring
At your voice as you dismantled all my defenses
On the corner of Leetsdale and Forest
On your birthday in Wyoming
Trading tunes with a band of coyotes
The bears came as the light waned
If we died, well we would've died happy
Holding tight, uncontrollably spinning
Made a deal with the earth and her glory
Made a map just by never pretending
Angie, you know me
Better now than most everybody
You saved me, now I'm changing
Never thought I would wanna get married
Gave up on finding some kind of delivery
Never dreamed I would get your mom's blessing
But that smile back in Camp Id-Ra-Ha-Je
Caught my lens, saw the circle completing
You're the marrow of every good thing
And I need you forever, completely
I will never abandon you, darling
Cause you're the beginning, the middle, and the ending
You told me I was special
Man, that really stuck
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8. |
Cataracts
04:43
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9. |
Whistlin' Down The Water
07:24
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I'm a floating in the grand canyon, heron and sandstone
without a single care, well we've found ourselves a hole
Just a-pissin' in the water, maybe we are dead after all
A cloudy head of spines, a blade of vishnu spire, a heart of granite doom
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water (x2)
I'm a-ridin' in a rubber ducky with my camera and my PFD
Just a-punchin' through the sick-nasty, got a picture at the grannery
I think this year will be the one that goes down in history
A complicated mind, eroding over time, the womb of the Hopi
(and we wonder why we just don't stay here)
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water (x2)
I'm a-watchin' how the sun shines against the tectonic sheets
She's a-wounded by a long life, but sturdy in her seams
I'm a-broken by a bystander, hooved and humble, she's a wastelander
A smoky liquid sky, alujah adoni, pure again in your tether
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water
O-oo oo oo oo, the great forgiver and forgetter
I'm a-wakin' by the moon shearing by the sail of an empty stream
Bound in flight and set on re-sealing all our cracks and dreams and leaks
I wonder always of our great failure to withhold our reverence for our claim-stakers
We're always asking why, Detura valentine, a rowdy lot of risk-takers
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water (x2)
I've been working on perfection, baptisms always come in threes
A holy-water blood transfusion from the well of ancient you and me
I'm a-listenin' to the busy chatter of the ring-tailed bandits and the song of Saturn
We're deafened by our plight, ignoring warning signs, the siren on the sea, singin'
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water (x2)
I smell the burning of a forest fire from the world up above the rim
It's a-blockin out the stars, carried on the passage of the wind
The whirlybird is looking for survivors, maybe last night's lightning was the big red button
A selfish little life, a spotty alibi, forgotten how to be human
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water
I've been turning on a dime and you are throwing in a rope
Worry slowing to a grind, heartache turning in to black-hills gold
Travelin' through time, reaching through the cosmic telephone
Tiptoe through the crypto, Little Colorado, polished shale and bone
(the lava knows we're never really through it)
O-oo oo oo oo, whistlin down the water
O-oo oo oo oo, the echo of the seekers
O-oo oo oo oo, just a-screaming toward the future
O-oo oo oo oo, whistling down the water
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Anthony Ruptak Denver, Colorado
Anthony Ruptak is a Colorado-based musician who writes and performs his original work with a simple mission: to explore the effects of the human condition. His music ranges from vulnerable acoustic performances to raucous and maximalist multi-instrumental experiences, with his intricate lyrics always at the forefront. Ruptak has been performing in Denver for over 15 years. ... more
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